Call Me Heat Miser! - Stephanie Renee
Feb 17, 2014

I am SO over winter!

Last week, we had a heart-to-heart exchange about you people and your germs. I'm feeling a lot better these days, thank goodness. But that's only when I stay at home, tucked in under a blanket, far away from the outside world and its sicknesses. And I've been able to do that far more often than usual because the weather has been so awful. TURRBUL! The 3rd snowiest winter on record. Really, Philly?? I did not sign up for this.

And thus, I am conjuring the image of one of the most openly-despised, yet secretly beloved, characters of childhood television.

Crown me HEAT MISER!

Never did I imagine that I would embrace such an abrasive persona, but I am there. Forgive the gender bending as I sing my theme music:

I'm Mr. Heat Miser
I'm Mr. Sun
I'm Mr. Green Christmas
I'm Mr. Hundred-and-One...

Hear me clearly. I am giving you full license to clown me if I openly bemoan heat and humidity this summer. Bring on the sweltering temps! Wavy lines radiating up from the concrete and asphalt! Extra-strength deodorant! Water ice, ice cream, giant cups of crushed ice and ice cubes. Because that is the only form of frozen anything I'm trying to see again, ever. Screw the Winter Olympics with all of its rinks, slopes and halfpipes. Consider my retirement plans for New Orleans sealed in blood. Snow storms, ice storms, sleet and freezing rain. You can have it all, Philly. Every last flake and drop. I will pant, sweat, raise a fist toward the unforgiving sun and curse it all in a few months when things swing to the opposite extreme. For just a moment. But then I'll remember this winter. And I'll be quiet. And smile a knowing smile.

Here is last week's playlist: